Thank you for the softness you have shown me. For the de-conditioning that was needed to move forward in peace. For helping me to remove the veil so I could move towards a place of lightness and being. For helping me to stand still in this space that allows me true freedom. Freedom from barriers and expectations, from grief and heartache. To allow me to experience life around me without the hardness and boundaries that have kept my experiences rough, that have kept me sheltered, that have prevented me from moving forward in peace.
Thank you for allowing me the space I needed to step fully into myself and for bringing me through the hardness to discover the softness. Through your gentle guidance I accept that in my divine state both exist within me and are meant to live in harmony. I am rest and wakefulness. I am indulgent and scarce. I am the sun and the moon. I am a fighter and a lover. I rest and I create. I listen to the sounds of my heart in tune with the beat of the universe. I listen and I move with the flow of the universe.
I can have strong feelings and aspirations and be soft in my desires and approach. I can be lit up and fiery and still be grounded and earthly. I allow myself to feel what I need to feel at any moment. Permission to move into that space and breathe into what I need. To be who I am in any given moment. I tune in.
I listen and follow my instincts because they will always guide me on the right path. And because I know how to discern my fears from my truth, I am aware of the times when fear speaks louder than my instincts. In my wisdom I know how to quell the fear that rises and in my strength I know when to concede to my fears when they feel like too much. I allow myself to feel in that moment. I do not reprimand or demonize myself. I do not consider myself a failure. I move into it and through it prepared for the next time that challenges arises.
There is no use forcing myself to experience something I do not feel ready to handle in that moment. If it will case me more angst and exhaustion then it does not seem like a worthy opponent. And I know that in allowing that opportunity to pass by, that lesson to be missed, another one of worthy value will arise at a later time in its place when the time is right. And when that happens maybe I will be ready to receive all of the beautiful lessons that will come in its aftermath. And maybe I won’t. But I am grateful to have the opportunity to choose.
Growing up I was always taught to say "excuse me" whenever I burped. I mean in the world of fast food, grease and things that I probably shouldn't have been eating anyway, I can understand that it was the polite thing to do. When I exposed other people to my burps, and maybe even the smell that accompanied it, saying excuse me was probably the least I could do. Over time it became just part of something I did as if on auto-pilot and that which I taught my children as well. You burp, you say excuse me.
The thing is lately I've been burping for seemingly no rhyme or reason. My diet has changed significantly and I can tell the difference between a food burp and an air burp. And lately what's been happening, along with my own energetic clearing and shifting, is a huge increase in "air burps." First thing in the morning, after a great meditation, during some great breathing exercises. My burps have become my friend. Like a welcome reprieve after a long, hard energy clearing session. A pat on the back from above that I did a great job clearing the muck either in my sleep or through my own intentional work.
So as the burps started increasing I no longer felt the urge to say excuse me because I no longer think of my burps as some offensive release of air that inconvenienced others. Instead my burps have become my greatest blessing. A physical sign that I'm doing the damn thing. I am releasing decades, lifetimes of stuck and stagnant energy. And after a significant release I belch loudly and proudly. The bigger the better - yes!!! And I am teaching my children how to pay attention to their own energetic releases as well, cheering them on from the sidelines when they burp. (I'm still working on the farting, but a little at a time, eh?)
And when the occasional stinky food burp rises up I recognize it as a sign from my body that I am not treating it kindly. That I am filling it with further muck which means further work. And some days that's okay - some days that bag of french fries is all that will satisfy me. I show myself compassion, I let it go and I continue doing the work.
And so instead of saying excuse me I say thank you. Thank you burps for becoming my friend. Thank you God for creating a body that allows such a release. And thank you Maricella for doing the work and recognizing the difference between offensive and awesome. XO!